ONE BITE FELLOWSHIP | Respecing Ourvelves & Fellow Addicts

The Importance of Treating Ourselves
& Fellow Food Addicts With Respect

We food addicts have certainly been known to be up to our eyeballs in denial about any number of important issues. This is especially true when we are into active addiction.

We addicts who are daily, albeit slowly, killing themselves with excessive amounts of food (and likely a less-than-appropriate physical exercise effort) are not doing so because we have an abundance of healthy self-esteem and self-respect.

When our relationship with our own self is fragile (at best), our relationships with others often suffer. This includes our relationships with fellow food addicts. We who have been so extremely critical of ourselves are often just as harsh in our approach to deal with others, including (especially?) those who share our addiction.

Our experience in weight loss support groups over the years can offer a painful reality check of just how difficult it is to show respect and kindness to one another.

How often do you judge yourself and others based on your weight/size and other aspects of your/their physical appearance?
How do you feel about yourself and others who aren't loosing weight, let alone who are gaining/re-gaining weight?
Have you ever secretly (or not-so-secretly) hoped that another recovering food addict would re-gain their weight?
Do you find yourself having a competitive attitude with yourself and others when it comes to weight loss?...Is any amount of weight loss really "good enough"?

Still don't believe you have a self-esteem/self-worth problem? Some questions to consider when assessing your self-esteem include:

Would you treat a friend the way you treat yourself? Specifically, would you insist on feeding them the same types and amounts of food that you feed yourself?
Have you ever been frustrated because you just can't seem to improve your self-esteem for any period of time, especially when you are overeating?
Have you made the connection that the "slow motion suicide" of food addiction and exercise avoidance is NOT a sign of appropriate self-esteem?

As long as you harm yourself with overeating and under-exercising we believe that you are continuing to feed the self-loathing that contributes to your low self-esteem. How will you achieve (and maintain) a healthier level of self-esteem? By stopping (and staying stopped, one day at a time) self-destructive addictive behaviors.

Stopping the cycle of addiction is just the beginning of healing our low self-esteem.

Consider the hallmarks of addictive behaviors and ask yourself . . .

Would you lie to someone you really and truly loved? Yet when you overeat insanely you are being DIShonest with yourself in the sense that you are denying the reality of your behavior.
Would you cheat someone you really and truly loved? Yet when you overeat insanely you are cheating yourself, in the sense that you are cheating yourself out of experiencing optimal health and well-being.
Would you steal from someone you really and truly cared about? Yet when you overeat insanely you are stealing from yourself by shortening the quantity and decreasing the quality of your remaining life because your addiction is nothing more than slow motion suicide.

HEALING TAKES TIME The truth is that self-esteem can take quite bit of time to heal, just like losing weight in a safe, healthy manner usually takes longer than what we want it to take. So if you don't experience INSTANT improvement in your self-esteem once you begin to eat sanely and exercise moderately, please don't give up!

HEALING TAKES WORK The core issues of our low self-esteem take time to examine and address. One of the best ways to dump the guilt and shame that feeds low self-esteem is working the 12 Step program of recovery.

HEALING TAKES COMMUNITY Some of us addicts have found that working with a mental health therapist can help with our ongoing healing from low self-esteem. Sharing our recovery with other addicts, which gives us the opportunity to shed our most painful secrets, can also be very therapeutic.

Three practical actions to help you start healing your self-esteem today:

Your first priority must be to BREAK THE CYCLE of active addiction! This happens when you begin following a nutritionally sane food plan and physician-approved physical exercise regimen.
Reach out to other addicts for support -- "An addict alone is in a bad neighborhood." "Together we can do what we could never do alone."
Work the 12 Steps, one Step and one day at a time.